Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the rundown of those film characters (not the actors themselves as this was the intended performance quality…we hope.) that just make you feel creeped out, angry and downright terrible. If you were in a theatre you’d be shouting “BOOOO!”, if they were a real person you’d push them down a flight of stairs…
…that kind of thing…
Sincity (2005) – Ethan Roark Jr AKA “Yellow Bastard”, the son of corrupt Senator Roark is a sadist who rapes, and murders pre-pubescent girls, but gets away with it because Daddy is Mr Money Bags. Hideous in looks, vile in character, the monstrous depiction of the paedophilic heathen mirrors how we would feel about this kind of person. Everything from his facial expressions to his darned yellow appearance makes me feel horrible and so it should.
No country for old men (2007)- Anton Chigurh AKA “Mr Sugar” is an unrelenting hitman armed with a Captive bolt pistol which he uses to create holes in door locks and peoples skulls. This stone cold killer comes across so…horrible with his pure drive to wreak havoc, through improvisation in any situation, deciding peoples fates using a coin toss and no compassion what-so-ever. Labelled as an enigmatic psychopath you know that if you ever come into contact with this guy your chances will never be more than “50-50”.
IT (1990/2017)- Pennywise the Clown feeds on the fears of children by any means possible. One evil son of a gun who lives to see you “Float” in his direction whilst attempting to run in the opposite direction screaming your lungs out. The only way your gonna get away from him is to stand up to him…#HellNope
Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events – Count Olaf, Criminal Mastermind, Golddigger, Playwright, Sailor, Cruel tormentor of the Baudelaire Children. He enjoys utilising flattery to gain peoples trust and then attempts by any means to remove the children of their rightful inheritance from their parents. Okay, he is nowhere near as bad as Pennywise, and far funnier…but gosh I love to hate him.
The Dark Knight (2008) – The Joker is the embodiment of insanity, pure anarchy, mental instability and downright evil. The Joker’s interests are neither in money, power or other people for that matter. His hobbies include terrorism, kidnapping, serial homicide, corruption, well-timed deadpan jokes and chaos. As much that he really is impatient, manipulative, sadistic, and as temperamental as liquid nitrogen…some of the statements he says make sense…but I’d rather be on this side of chaos than his.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)- Bane’s badass look alone, with that mask and robotic style voice, not forgetting the apocalyptic intentions. Although Bane’s intentions to help the child and persistence…sorry Bane, No way.
The Green Mile (1999)- Percy Wetmore is a sadistic guard who just enjoys getting under the prisoners skin. The Spoilt Brat is tolerated only because he is the governor nephew. This evil little man is set on being able to supervise an electric chair execution before he moves onto pastures new, only to sabotage it to the extent that Del literally fries to death. Percy definitely needs a smack…in the teeth.
Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope (1977)- Darth Vader is THE renowned badass of the Star Wars series with his own theme tune. Sith Lord and Apprentice to Emporer Palpatine as well as Supreme Commander of the Imperial Military. His pastimes include torturing victims for information using Dark Force telekinesis usually in the form of choking. Now as much as he is a mass murdering evil guy, he did kind of redeem himself to save his own son…but I’m not sure those other dead billions would take that as an apology.
Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire (2005) -Lord Voldemort AKA Tom Marvolo Riddle is a sociopathic megalomaniac Dark Lord, Hell bent on ruling in a non-muggle wizarding world through sheer torture and genocide of all who oppose him. Hang on…sounds like Tom would be a great companion to a certain moustached, bowl cut style German. Even though his tyranny exceeded great heights he was still unable to take over a school of children. Hmmm, not quite the supreme leader you hoped to be eh?
Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire (2005) Bellatrix Lestrange was fanatically loyal to Lord Voldemort and was the most sadistic and dangerous of all his followers. Not only because she was raving mad, but also for her distinct affection for torture and the Avada Kedavra unforgivable curse on such a number of her opposition.
Plus did I mention, shes totally mad… #BonkersBitch
Schindlers List (1993) Amon Goeth is not simply added to this list for being a Nazi as otherwise, the list would simply be “all Nazis in any WW2 film”. However, his whole persona makes my skin crawl. The ferocity of his intimidation to all and any Jew he encounters makes you want to back away from him…or run…even though this wouldn’t help you either because of his high-level marksmanship and murderous skill and the indomitable drive to kill.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) Immortan Joe even though he is old and diseased is the most powerful warlord in the wastelands, manipulative in nature over the Cult of the V8 and the people of the Citadel. He rules entirely with the sole control of the water supply. To ensure his rule is absolute he keeps a harem of beautiful captured women whom he hopes to create an heir through repeated rape. What a romantic eh?
The Matrix (1999) Agent Smith is a human form of a computer virus detecting any files not operating correctly to delete or reconfigure them to the will of the bigger “machine”. Whilst starting off as the Top Dog sentinel of the three agents, Smith engages with the wrong rouge programme and finds himself deleted…only to be exalted to a computer virus with the pure drive to wipe out any files in its way utilising his marksmanship, intelligence and enhanced superhuman abilities to jeopardise humanity and the Matrix itself.
Django Unchained (2012)- Calvin Candie oozes sophistication and malice through every one of his french-loving pores. An owner of an anger gauge that easily maxes out, an avid Mandingo fight supporter, southern stereotype conformist, meshed with sadistic racism, whats not to like.
Just beware if he starts showing you his collection of skulls.
Inglorious Bastards (2009)- Hans Landa, another notable Nazi for the list, not just for his Jew-hating detective work, but to the delivery of sed character across the screen. Christoph Waltz becomes the epitome of an SS “Jew-Hunter” during every line of questioning, the tone, the style and the ease of delivery is top notch… I’m just glad it wasn’t me on the other side of the table.
Jungle Book(1967)- Shere Khan enjoys intimidataing the other jungle animals using his vicious attitute and tiger power to ruthlessly track down the evasive man-cub before he reaches the man-village. Preferably to his dinner.
He is a wild animal after all.
Wizard of Oz (1939) -Wicked Witch of the West is the depiction of that hideous neighbour that Toto has a liking to biting back in Kansas, therefore Arch-enemy to Dorothy Gale. Her Iconic chracter in this film has become the archetype of wickedness in popular culture. The evil sneer and hatred of such a cute little pup, not to mention the legion of off putting flying monkeys at her comand. That house really should have dropped on her.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs(1937)- Evil Queen is driven to murderous rage only by envy of the beauty of a child. A bit OTT you may agree, but to a a child the depiction of a carer wishing you dead and sending someone out to do away with you…chilling to say the least. Thank Goodness Disney are making their story lines a bit smoother now, this could easily be a slasher movie plot.
The Incredibles(2004)- Syndrome AKA Buddy/Incrediboy is the unsuspected creation of Mr Incredible for shunning his biggest fan and rejecting his normality compared to his incredible hero aspects. His revenge leads to the demise of many Super heros and the kidnapping of his former Heros infant son Jack Jack.
Its not you its…no wait, its you. No hard feelings right, Buddy?
Austin Powers International Man of Mystery (1997)- Dr Evil, AKA Dougie, is the paraody character of “Ernst Stavro Blofeld” from the James Bond films, spends most of his time plotting world domination, utilising various weird and wonderful machines and traps as well as the anilalation of his archnemisis Austin Powers, later discovered to be his brother. Well, sibling rivalry can be a bitch sometimes, but maybe this would be a bit too much. Hes not so much evil, as naughtily funny and very creative with his plans.
Well…thats only the tip of the iceberg in terms of film villans! I’ve recieved a lot of messages from you guys about ones I didnt even think about!
What do you think? Are any of them too good to be bad? Are there some real tyrants I should include in the next intallment? Dont forget to tell me why they grind your gears, or freak you out!
Now I must be off…
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES DONNA A DULL GIRL
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES DONNA A DULL GIRL
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES DONNA A DULL GIRL